ennui

Today was a day so uneventful and unexciting it barely deserves mentioning. So I'll present it in bullet points.

* went to daydream island by ferry. That's a misnomer if there ever was one

* then went to airlie beach on the mainland to have lunch. Note to Lonely Planet travel guide. If a restaurant closed over a year ago, do NOT still leave it in your guide. Especially if that place is now a condo, and a certain person accidentally walks into someone's apartment thinking that it's reception because the doors are mislabeled. That was awkward for me.

* went to one (read: only) bar cum nightclub on Hamilton island. Yes there was live music and the people were not interesting. Note to blond lady from Melbourne with childen. Do NOT leave your kids at home while you go to the bar to get drunk.

But tomorrow is Fraser Island where the weather is supposed to great. Very excited!

Good night.

know your body

Okay, this advice does not apply to everyone, only those unaware of the correlation between their bodies and the approriate clothes they can wear. Specifically bikinis.

There are several signs that you should not wear a bikini.

A. You are obese

B. Please see A

C. Refer back to both A and B.

That is all

And we're dancing on the ceiling!

So for my five trip I took H2O dive out to Hayman island. While it did not rain, the visibility underwater was horrendous and you couldn't see more that 10 feet in front of you. Which made the dive kind of a waste. What made it more of a waste was the fact that the two other guys in our dive group were totally annoying and old. They also pissed off the dive instructor because they were incapable of following directions and generally broke every safety rule of diving. But I think it's because they were from Canada, eh? No offense Jamil.

But the crew was really friendly, and one was Dutch. The Dutch and norwegians appear to have taken over Australia. Hayman island is also quite beautiful. Above water. I don't mean to sound pissy but bad weather really affects my mood. You hear that Ellie? I normally never complain about anything

what's a gift horse anyway?

The island that I'm staying on is actually called Hamilton Island. It isn't huge and is easily accessible by foot. Or you can rent a golf cart and drive around. I tried to rent a buggy until I was soundly refused because my nyc driver's license expired. 6 months ago. I then proceeded to pretend I had limited English skills and demand that they except my Dutch residency card instead. This plan lasted approximately 5 seconds which meant that I should implement plan C. Grand theft auto. Then I thought to myself, "hey self, jail may not be fun. Especially Australian jail. I mean they eat vegemite outside of prison, could you imagine what they'd feed me inside?" So I spent the day walking. The island is actually pretty nice but a little over developed with beachfront houses and condos. But oh the views of the reef are stunning.

brevity is the soul of whit(Sunday islands)

You get it? Whitsunday...oh what do you know from funny?

Annnyyydizzle. So the past few days I've been in the whitsunday islands in the great barrier reef. And for the past few days it's either been overcast or raining due to cyclone Ellie. I mean really. Ellie? That's a grandmother's name. Or the character from a collection of stories from the 80s targeted at pre teen girls. Arghh.

The one upside is that my hotel is pretty good. Well not so much the hotel, but my room which has an insane view of the reef and some of the other islands. I'll post once I'm in Fraser Island tomorrow. I refuse to pay the offensive asking price for wireless usage.

it happened last night

So for my last night in cairns me and some fellow divers decided to hit the town and see what it was like. Let me start by saying that cairns is a sh*thole. Only stay there if you have an early flight like I did due to proximity to airport. We ended up at the well known bar wool shed which was filled with backpackers. I've never hung out with so many backpackers in such close proximity. It was amazing. I'm only a backpacker in the sense that I have s small backpack to carry my computer in. It was like being back in college. some state college that I did not go to.

The night started with cheap beers before we came to the bars main event, Gold Fish racing. I will post pics once I'm near a computer, but it was amazing. Each fish represented a country. The fish representing the US was a black goldfish. Which would be offensive if weren't not so hilariously amazing and appropriate. The best part was that USA fish won all his heats and eventually the final. It was a great time for our country and more than likely signals the reemergence of the US. Unfortunately that goldfish will be dead in a week once some drunken idiot pores beer in his tank. And sadly the same will happen to the US. But instead it will be some foreign chemical agent leaked into our water system. I'm looking at you Russia.

OMG seriously Australia!!!!

Australia I'm going to
punch you in the face if you don't stop raining. Seriously. I'm literally about to take off my shoes and hit you square in the forehead. This cyclone nonsense better end soon. Seriously.

I'm now in the whitsunday islands (Hamilton island to be exact). It's supposed to be beautiful but I can't tell because it is RAINING. Will report back later once I've explored the island.